Life for all of us should be back to normal, we keep thinking. Unfortunately, it’s not. “People are seeing things we never thought would happen,” says Cary Hamilton, owner and highly credentialed therapist of Olympia Therapy. “Everyone is impacted,” she adds. The bodies, minds, and adrenal systems of young children, teens, parents, and other adults are overtaxed and on high alert. What’s going on?
Youth and Adults Experiencing High Fatigue and Anxiety
Our stress levels are exacerbated with the anniversary of the onset of COVID, a time filled with unknowns. Our bodies have leftover trauma. The amplitude of remembering the onset of COVID converging with the challenging world situations is resulting in extreme behaviors, depression and anxiety in our children. We all want to “get over it,” but the malaise lingers.
The political climate (regardless of your point of view) alongside of a changing climate and world events are generating reactivity and disbelief. “On-going chaos and not understanding events leads to a giant disconnect,” says Cary. Children hear their parents talking about job losses, the stock market and other headlines. “Kids are getting news. They can search the Internet for anything,” she adds. Parents may be confused themselves and resist talking about any of it, especially with the children. This ignoring adds fuel to the flames of a child’s uncertainty.
Olympia Therapy: Parents Seeing Undesirable Youth Behaviors
Olympia Therapy has seen a 10-fold increase in calls lately. That means rather than the usual 5 to 6 per week, the office fielded 42 calls for help. Basically, everyone is being affected to some degree and many to great degrees. Calls are often from parents who feel unable to deal with their teenagers.
Cary reports that some students simply refuse to get out of bed in the morning. Some say they don’t want to do anything. “It’s utter refusal,” she says. “Seniors are particularly struggling with stress levels.” There is resistance to leaving the house or doing schoolwork. “Many over-functioning kids are going to crash and burn in May. They are running away and they will run out of gas,” she warns. It’s graduation, life is uncertain and they are tired.
Middle schoolers and younger students are fighting, having tantrums and other physical agitations. “Parents don’t understand where it is coming from,” says Cary. Kids are full of feelings that need to be expressed and they don’t know how to do that appropriately.
Kids want distractions. (don’t we all?) Phones can let us zone out but don’t necessarily increase our communications or well-being. Teachers are continually challenged to keep phones out of use with students. Parents who also use phones to numb out are hesitant to put phone restrictions on their kids. Ultimately, this all leads to more anxiety and disconnect.
Youth are Weary, Wary, and Distrustful, Says Olympia Therapy
The depression and anxiety felt by our youth causes their bodies to be tired and heavy. There are headaches, stomachaches and other sickness. Sleep is inadequate. Meals are missed.
Common Emotions
- Disbelief. How is this happening again?
- Confusion. What is real? What is exaggeration?
- Fear. What does this mean for my future, my children’s future?
- Helplessness. What can I even do to make a difference?
- Hopelessness. Why am I even here?
Olympia Therapy Offers Useful Tools to Combat Child Stress
Consistency in daily routine does wonders for the anxious brain. “The body needs those routines,” coaches Cary. More consistency reduces cortisol. Parents need to be able to answer this question: Do you know when your child ate real food and showered? Cary reports that may parents don’t actually know about their children’s daily activities. Parents can ask, “Did you eat a real meal today? When did you recently take a shower?” “Hygiene can dissipate when anxiety rules,” notes Cary.
Food as Fun and Connection for Families
Ideally, people would spend an evening meal together. It’s a time to talk about the day while ingesting healthful nutrition. Work schedules, sports, after school activities all vie for time, so it takes deliberate planning. And it is possible. Eat together without screens.
You could use your time to prepare meals together, too. Three regular meals a day for children are important. Caffeine from energy drinks and candy bars don’t count. Everyone needs to be drinking water.
Time Together is Important for Parents and Children
Create time to have fun together. It could be playing a game, doing a craft or simply taking a walk outside. Conversation is not required. If things are so bad that your child won’t get out of bed, get in bed with them. Let your child know that you are not going away, that you are there for them. Let them know you will do what you need. “Be willing to go to counseling with them,” suggest Cary. “Kids believe adults don’t really care.”
“Anxiety and depression are real. They are okay,” reminds Cary. However, they are not to be ignored. Take a deep breath and be willing to talk with your children about whatever they want to talk about. “Kids are really afraid to talk to adults because they don’t know the answer they are going to get,” offers Cary. When they know you will listen and not blow up, it makes it easier for them talk with you.
Getting enough sleep, moving your body and taking medications as prescribed are included in daily life maintenance, too. Your children are growing up, asking question and wondering about everything. You won’t have all the answers, and that’s okay, too. It is about being present to them and open with your attention, love and support. Be gentle with yourself and each other, knowing that self-care is essential.
We get through hard times together.
For more information and help, you can visit the Olympia Therapy website.
Olympia Therapy
1534 Bishop Road SW, Tumwater
360.357.2370
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